Some big events in life can keep us questioning why and sometimes we’ll never know the answers, years later or till the day we leave this earth. However, sometimes answers come as we live life. Sometimes the answer remains a big mystery and can cause us to turn to various sources: astrology, tarot cards, meditation, secret societies, other philosophies or theologies, dark rituals and or various religions. We seek answers on this earth, but the big picture is beyond the universe.
Years ago I believed that there was a God somewhere out there, but I had no faith in His existence. I had no sight of who God is. Anything bad that happened I would call karma if it was similar to something I had done to someone else.
There were times in my early adult years where I learned how to pray the rosary. I thought I was doing something that God would be proud of, along with touching the feet of a baby Jesus statue. I tried reading a King James Version Of the New Testament and ended up throwing it aside frustrated trying to understand it.
I think about the way people lived back in the BC days, some sacrificed babies or humans in front of their community. They felt that God wanted them to do that to heal their land, not knowing, they were bringing a curse upon themselves.
I think about the time I spent at a friend’s birthday party playing with the spirit board and when I went home the next day creepy things started happening in my life. I started having horrific dreams of not being able to wake up or something holding me down while I was half asleep, but I would always wake up after calling on Jesus. When we mess with spiritually dark things, we opening up the wrong door in our lives that allow spiritual torment. Sometimes it can be someone in our ancestry, family or an event that happened in a place we’ve moved into.
After walking through life in darkness, not knowing the “whys” in life, accepting circumstances just as they are without any meaning, living religiously and being tormented with horrifying dreams and thoughts, life finally made a turn when I started to read God’s word, the Bible and finally came to know who God is and that He actually exists. The horrific dreams stopped and eventually, God delivered me from many other things, not just in me, but from the generation passed down to me. The Lord is always at work. After fully placing my life in God’s hands and reading His word, life made perfect sense. I no longer had to search for answers elsewhere. I found truth, peace and joy in life through God.
John 14:6 say, “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man comes unto the Father, but by me.”
After reading the Bible, I came across a scripture that speaks against repetitive prayers such as the rosary.
Matthew 6:7 says, “But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do : for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.”
It also says that God is spirit and He does not live a statues. John 4:24 says, “God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth.”
So praying in repetition and touching the feet of a Jesus statue does not please God. As Abraham went up to the mountain to pray and trusted God so much, willing to let go of his one and only son, his heart was all in. What God wants is your heart, a relationship with you and faith in Him.
Although life still has its hardships, God is still at work on my heart, allowing the hardships to strengthen my faith and trust in Him. Many times I felt angry toward God for my situation, but it’s only because I don’t see the big picture. I can’t see God working behind the curtain, then it becomes a question of, “Am I going to choose to believe that God is good and am I going to continue to trust Him,” and thus far, it’s been yes with a greatness later on. Even in the most devastating loss in my life, I still trust Him and know that one day, I will see my Mother again in heaven.
Having the Lord in my life and growing in knowledge of Him through reading the Bible and prayer, the events in life become the brush painting the canvas of God’s masterpiece and everything that brings it together is like the poetry of life telling a love story God’s undying love for humanity.